Miscellaneous

You know how there are a few ways to get one’s temperature with a thermometer? Apart from placing one end of it under the tongue or snuggling it under your armpit, you can also stick it up the rear end, which should make your colleagues wary of you whenever you pull out the Thermometer Pen. This $1.79 pen would be the perfect fear-instilling tool if you’re at the top of the office food chain, whereas those on the lower end of the spectrum would probably be more relieved if you were half as funny as the Pull My Finger Fart Pen.

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Here’s more juvenile humor for the masses that costs a mere $3.95 for plenty of laughs - the Pull My Finger Fart Pen. This writing instrument is pretty much self-explanatory, and it does look like a real digit, letting one rip whenever you give it a nice tug. I think this would be a hoot at the exam hall as stern invigilators go nuts wondering who had too many beans for breakfast that morning. It won’t give the game away that easily with multiple fart sounds, including both long and short ones. Heck you can even sign your John Hancock with this in blue if you want to.

It makes me wonder at times why do people fill up their bath time with a rubber duck? In the first place, why a duck - and yellow to boot, instead of other water-based fowls like a pelican, goose or swan? Well, a duck it is due to tradition, so here is a twist to the traditional yellow rubber duckie - the Inflatable Duck. This 100% authentic duck offers a taste of the great outdoors in your bathroom, just make sure no Peeping Tom actually mistakes this for the real thing and takes aim with a rifle while you’re stark naked. £7.95 is the asking price for something as pointless as this. I’ve got a new idea - why don’t you bank in £5 to my account instead and I guarantee you I’ll put it to better use.

This is one boat that you would not want to see it sink - after all, it contains all the grub that you have piled up during your recent run at the buffet table. The boat itself measures 19″ long and weighs more than 4 pounds, so you know it is tough enough to cater for your humongous appetite at the party. The serving dish itself is so lovely to look at, chances are guests won’t mind too much about the food taste and quality since they’ll be more in awe of you forking out $36.99 to make such a statement.

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We’re on a roll today with two shocking pieces of gizmos, and here’s the second. The Shocking Car Key is meant for pranksters who love nothing more than a good laugh by inflicting pain on others. After all, this Shocking Car Key looks eerily similar to many modern car remotes, and you can even attach a couple of keys to it to make it look even more authentic. Ask a friend to go to your car and take their present and they’ll be more than willing to do it, only to suffer a nasty shock upon pressing its button. This howler of a device also comes with a mini torchlight built in - the £2.93 asking price is definitely well worth every single penny!

How many times have somebody come up to you and asked, “Excuse me, can I borrow your pen please?” Those are classic moments to strike up a friendship with a complete stranger, but only if you don’t accidentally hand them the Electric Shock Pen. This device looks like any other ordinary writing instrument, but clicking the top down will give them an alarming jolt. I’d be a bit more wary in handing these out to older people - who knows what the electric shock might do if they’re wearing pacemakers? This £2.95 pen is best suited in a school environment where juvenile jokes and pranks rule the day.

For those living in areas where the winter is biting cold with high heating costs, it would be good to wear really thick clothes even at home or be prepared to load up on your bank account to pay the power company at the end of the month. Don’t think getting something like the Door Corner Fan will help you out here - this is supposed to pull heat from one room into another, and the same principle applies to air conditioning. We say everyone huddle in a single room like penguins and keep the doors closed - saving yourself $19.99 in the process.

How many of us have sensitive skin that results in wrinkles appearing on our face every morning when we wake up? Well, this is a minor problem as our skin normally returns to normal a few minutes upon waking up, and don’t forget that marital vows involve for better or for worse, so no worries about ending up single once your spouse realizes how you look like without makeup the next morning after the wedding. This Wrinkle Minimizing Pillow could do its part in smoothening such a transition from single to married life, supporting your chin and forehead while keeping your cheeks and delicate skin around the nose and mouth free from creases. Not too sure if it is worth forking out $69.95 on, but I would say learn to sleep on your back instead and you won’t have to worry about wrinkles appearing the next morning.

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil - sounds familiar? Well the Solar Monkey with Spotlight does obey the final verb, but it misses out on the first two. All he requires is some time under direct sunlight and he’ll be able to transform your garden into something beautiful at night, cycling through red, green and blue LED colors while you relax on the verandah. It does make me wonder whether this Solar Monkey will come with his brethren who do not see and hear, since this one wants to remain mum (probably due to bad breath from eating too many rotten bananas). Interested folks can bring home the Solar Monkey with Spotlight for $19.99 a pop.

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