You know how all the tough guys are able to open up a beer bottle using nothing but their teeth? The $9.99 Bite Me Vampire Bottle Opener will certainly up the ante, especially for vampires, as losing their fangs would translate to being unable to feed on other humans, so why not send in a “replacement” instead? After all, this metal bottle opener, being styled after vampire fangs, feels solid and heavy enough to get the job done, measuring 2″ wide. Guaranteed not being able to eat any human, it is just partial to bottles that need opening. At least you know you can’t catch rabies or anything of that sort with this.