Garden gnomes are supposed to be nice, gentle and sweet, but here’s Randy the Rude Gnome who turns things upside down. He is motion-activated, while greeting you with the finger at first glance, will also speak one of the following phrases to irk you as you walk past by.
“The best thing about being a garden gnome is that I’m always hard.”
“Hey you, lean down, I wanna tell you something. Come on closer, closer, closer. Now [email protected] off dip sh#t!”
*farts* “Oh man I held that one in for 3 hours waiting for someone to show up.”
“Listen here buddy, I’ll give you twenty bucks if you can get your wife to show me her titties.”
“Hey you, my balls are really itchy but I can’t move. Would you mind?”
“farts” “What? I can’t exactly run to the toilet.”
“You can’t be serious, no way are you going to fit through that door.”
“Take one step closer and I’ll chew your knee caps off.”
“I’m 14 inches tall and I bet I still have a bigger dick than you.”
“You’re one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen, and I’m a garden gnome.”
“Suck my tiny ceramic co#k.”
Those aren’t the only ones, but if you’re willing to place this up each time your in-laws come by, hurry up while the $29.95 offer lasts!