You know how there are a few ways to get one’s temperature with a thermometer? Apart from placing one end of it under the tongue or snuggling it under your armpit, you can also stick it up the rear end, which should make your colleagues wary of you whenever you pull out the Thermometer Pen. This $1.79 pen would be the perfect fear-instilling tool if you’re at the top of the office food chain, whereas those on the lower end of the spectrum would probably be more relieved if you were half as funny as the Pull My Finger Fart Pen.

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